Sensual, Thoughtful, and Very Naughty
It is a somewhat uncomfortable confession…that it really turns me on to think about my lover with another man. The emotional burn, intense mind-fuck, and physical arousal is like nothing I have ever known. If you are new to Cream of the Planet, you should know that I am first a passionate, sensual man that loves and adores women. Cuckolding for me represents sexual play or occasional variety to mix things up. It is not a state of being. Still, I have this peculiar, perhaps counterintuitive desire.
I have been exploring and trying to understand elements of my cuckold fantasy. In Cuckold: A Brief Introduction, I set out to identify a core definition shared by all cuckolds and some of the “fetish within a fetish” layers often associated with cuckolding but not essential attributes. My second post, Cuckold: Mind Bender is a much deeper dive into the importance of mental stimulation in the cuckold experience.
Sperm Wars is my third foray into the psychology of cuckolding and explores the effect of male competition on sex drive. While the Sperm Wars effect exists outside of cuckolding, it is often an erotic layer found within cuckold sexual play. The idea of sexual competition was elucidated in Sperm Wars by Dr. Robin Baker. Sperm Wars was published to critical acclaim and controversy in 1996. My exploration of the theory contains elements of Baker’s book as well as my thoughts as I try to understand “the why” behind one of my most intense sexual desires.
The “Science” of Sperm Wars
Until recently, biologists thought there was only one kind of sperm in semen with one purpose–swim to the egg and inseminate it. Biologists Robin Baker and Mark Bellis found these “egg-inseminators” make up only about one per cent of a man’s sperm count. So, what about the rest? They discovered most sperm don’t swim to the egg at all. Instead, we have “killer” and “defender” sperm. Killer sperm is designed to hunt and destroy the sperm of other men that may also be present in a woman’s pussy. Defender sperm is designed to defend a man’s seed from attack by another man’s killer sperm.
How did this genetic battle come about? Scientists speculate our human ancestors were not monogamous and often several males would mate with one fertile female within the same day and over several days. The cum from these men would then intermingle within the woman fighting for the evolutionary reward of fertilizing her egg.
Reproductive Overdrive – Sperm Wars suggests that most men experience a biological reaction to the thought of their lover being with another man. At a minimum, this stimulation is a reproductive reaction. Scientific research has shown that when men are faced with sperm competition, the results are higher sperm volume, increased sperm motility, and firmer erections along with harder and deeper thrusting. There are also many other reactions that may not be so pleasant such as anger and jealousy. For some though, myself included, the reaction also includes heightened sexual arousal (and that is putting it mildly). Of course, both extremes often co-exist within each of us and each man must know himself and master his internal swirl. While the “sperm wars” effect is real, it is important to remember that not all men have cuckold fantasies or desire this form of sexual play. Using it to enhance your relationship is playing with fire and needs to carefully navigated.
Sexual Apathy – Sperm Wars theory also suggests men are wired to be aroused by sexual competition. This could partially explain why some men, even if they adore their lover, can experience a diminishing sex drive over time when the threat of sexual competition fades. If a man feels no sexual competition for his lover, his body’s production of sperm and sexual drive may drift lower…conserving energy for a later day or new threat. There are certainly other factors that can contribute to declining sex drive such as overall health. However, if a man suspects his lover is interested in another man, there is a good chance he will begin to compete for her. His attention becomes more like it was in the days when he was first winning her heart. This can lead to a rekindling of the passion and intimacy shared when romantic love reigned supreme.
Fantasies and Love
In Ideal Love I explore the interplay of passion, intimacy, and commitment in the formation of seven different types of love. In Hearts on Fire, I explore the illusion of romantic love as ultimate love and end with the notion of a higher love–consummate or complete love. A burning question remained in that post. Even if we realize the divine fire of romantic love cannot be sustained infinitely, we still crave some level of passion and intimacy. How do we keep the fire burning with enough moments of fiery eruptions to sustain us?
If we embrace and explore one another’s fantasies (cuckolding, D/s, or whatever makes you hot), there is an opportunity to catch moments of the divine bliss found in romantic love by fueling ongoing cycles of passionate and intimate connections with our lover. A lifetime of love and shared experiences would certainly qualify as commitment–the third arm in the triangle of love theory. We can opt for a vanilla sexual existence and say, “I should be enough” or “Your fantasies are weird”. We can shut down our lover’s fantasies and attempt to deny their desire. Or, we can provide our lover with flashes of anima/animus (divine ideal woman/man projections discussed in Hearts on Fire) through sexual role play. In turn, they can do the same for us. We can tap into our lover’s fantasies and use it as a source of light in our relationship.
Tapping Into Sperm Wars and Cuckolding
Tapping into sperm wars and cuckolding (or any sexual play) must be done with emotional commitment and the ultimate aim being to fuel the passion and intimacy of the couple. This is about lovers having fun as a couple and enhancing their relationship. If you are in love with your man and discover he finds this exciting, it can be a powerfully erotic and connecting experience for both of you.
How can we tap into this heightened state of arousal? It is worth noting up front that a woman doesn’t actually have to have sex with another man to create the Sperm Wars effect. Even the possibility of sexual competition or exploration through erotic story telling with one another is enough to get a man’s biological engines humming. That said, making it real can take it to another level. For men that embrace sexual competition or have cuckold fantasies, the drive to reclaim our sexy girl is so damn intense! The power and strength in my erection…the aching fullness of my balls…it truly places me on the edge. As I describe in Cuckold: Mind Bender, the mind fuck is intense. There is the raw biological drive explored in this post. Then, there is the passion of romantic love (Romantic Love: Hearts on Fire) exploding during the reclaiming, reconnecting, and afterglow. Mentally, emotionally, and physically…the perfect erotic whirlwind that engulfs me and my lover.
While this exploration has been focused on my desires (the male perspective), I am sensitive and attentive to my lover’s experience within this journey. Cuckolding is a delicate dance with the ultimate purpose always being to enhance the couple’s relationship. It isn’t for everyone…no fetish or sexual play is. It is about showing and sharing love…it is about our naughty adventure together.
I’ll end with this. I once sent an image to a lover that had a woman laying on a bed with cum spilling from her pussy. I shared a little vignette about how crazy hot it was to watch her being fucked. When the loving energy is right, the seeding of passion’s flame looks like this:
“Do you want me to pose for a photo like this for you with another man’s cum spilling out of me? Mmmm, Baby!!! 🔥🔥🔥 I remember our moment so well 🔥💋🔥💋 It is so hot for me to know you loved this moment and how it turned you on as I waited for you with his cum rushing out of me, mmmm!!! Even more so, I love the memory of you having me after…again and again!!!!!!!!! 🔥💋❤️ I’m craving you so much right now…wanting to feel you and share our fantasies…wanting your touch and erotic vibe… I can’t wait to have you Baby!!!! 😘😘😘😘😘💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋 I love you!”